Mr. Tight Shorts

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" A carpenter was my answer when I graduated from high school. "What do you NOT want to be when you grow up?" I'd probably have said a roofer, salesman, or public speaker. That'd have been a harder question though because of the sheer volume of things I'd certainly hoped to avoid. Nevertheless, if pressed, I'm sure that being a man who wears Spandex shorts in public would have made my list! Yet, today I must now admit I've been all of those things since high school: a roofer, salesman, public speaker, and Mr. Tight Shorts! Regardless of the intensity of my aversion to those activities, I can't deny God has shaped me in important ways through each one. Here's one example from my Mr. Tight Shorts experience.

The Event
Cycling. Road Cycling. 517 miles. From Gainsville, FL to Mobile, AL. Sore backside. Sore legs. Awkward clothing. Why? Because it's important to me to do what can be done to see the needs of global youth be met and spread the hope of the good news of Jesus. Thats what Ends of the Earth Cycling and YouthHOPE (ministries of New Mission Systems International) are all about.

Here's how Ends Cycling rides work: Participants select a ride, pay a registration fee, and commit to raise funds and awareness for and about the ministry partner who will benefit from the ride. During the ride, support "SAG" staff prays and riders pray, pedal, repeat each day for the beneficiary. In the evenings, worship services are held at each host location (mostly churches) to further promote the ministry.

It wasn't easy for me, and frankly, I was glad for the tight shorts with padding for my backside as I sat on that tiny uncomfortable seat, and I traded my self conscious thoughts for gratitude for the right equipment (it helped that the whole group of us was clad in similar apparel:))

It was a good experience (you should do it:)) and I'm sure I'll be making plenty of cycling analogies in the future. Here's the one that's impacted me the most since the ride.

I "pulled" a little bit through the second day of 6, then I had to count on the others.

Pull or be Pulled
I'd never ridden in a group of cyclists before. They talk about "drafting." I knew what that was... in my head, but not by experience. It means that if one rides closely enough to another who's in front of them, they can benefit from the work that person is doing to break the wind for them. I'm told that the front person in a group of cyclists is doing 25% or more work than the next person in line. I don't know about the percentage, but I KNOW it's way harder to "pull" than draft. "Pulling" is what they call it when a person is riding in front of a group. "Pulling" and "drafting." When a group is working well, a rider will pull for a time until he recognizes his energy is running out. At that point, he will signal to the riders behind that he's dropping to the back of the pack, and the next rider in line should take over pulling. When the rider gets to the back of the line he does well to make sure to get right in line behind the last person and catch the draft. If one doesn't get in line right away and catch the draft it can be a problem. Depending on how close they were to being out of energy when they stopped pulling they may not be able to keep up, and if the group doesn't realize (or doesn't care that) they're falling behind, they may be left behind. You see, if a person runs out of strength to pull and they don't catch the draft, they have to KEEP pulling and ACCELERATE to get back into the draft and find some relief.

For some, cutting a pull short before tiring is easy. For me, a proud man, it took some humility (I suspect I'm not alone.) The fact is, there was no way I could pull as long as the others, especially over several days of riding. I'm not a cyclist, and I'd not trained as long as would have been recommended. I'm convinced that it would have been impossible for me to ride the distance we rode without the help of the others on the team: Justin, Brian, Kevin, Andrew, Matt, and Bob. As the days wore on, I understood that, not only should I keep my pulls short if I wanted to keep up, I shouldn't pull at all! In a different group, I'd have been left behind. In this group, I was able to stick with the pack because they all took turns pulling for me even though I couldn't pull for them. It was a beautiful testimony of the way the body of Christ is designed to work, and I love those guys for it.

Even if you never have the experience on a bike, and if I never do again, pull or be pulled is a question we are all faced with every day of our lives. In many ways, it's harder to lead than it is to follow. It's hard, even humiliating, to admit that we need a rest, stop "pulling," move to the back of the group, and draft behind someone else. It's hard when we fail to catch the draft, and we're left all alone trying to pull when we feel like we've got nothing left. It's hard to keep "pedaling" in the middle of the pack even when we're drafting, realizing that if we drop out of the draft it will be harder still. It's hard to move out in front and pull, giving up the draft and wearing myself out (even putting myself at risk) for the benefit of the group.

I don't know about you, but I can see some ugly tendencies in my life that keep me from "drafting" in the body of Christ. God is working, and I don't want to be that way. So He's helping me to take some steps (I wish they were easier) to painfully accelerate and catch the "draft." God has ordained the church, the universal church, His body to function like the group of cyclists I rode with. Sometimes God calls us to pull. Sometimes He calls us to draft. Are you trying to pull too much or too long that you are risking destroying yourself or others? Are you drafting too much and watching others destroy themselves on your behalf instead of pulling? Take it from me, Mr. Tight Shorts, it's better to do it God's way - pulling and drafting in life and in the church for the benefit of the body and for your own benefit.

They all crash the same.

It took only 1 week after we arrived in Florida (and less than 3 weeks after we purchased it) for me to "remodel" the front of our "new" van. Praise God that Abishai, me, and the other driver were not injured. Even so, the experience was sickening.

The van was likely to be totaled, and our other vehicle's 5 seats didn't accommodate the 6 of us conveniently. So we found ourselves feeling pressure to shop for a van... again. I say, "again" with a sigh and a grimace. I don't like shopping for vehicles, at least when I feel like they are so expensive as was true in this case. Nevertheless, I was back in the same place I was 3 weeks earlier agonizing over what it meant to be a good steward and choose wisely.

The black van, now irreparably "remodeled," had satisfied most of the criteria we'd used to choose a vehicle. It was a Grand Caravan or Chrysler Town and Country, 2013 or newer, had low miles (45,000), stow and go seating, and some other creature comforts. It fell short in one category though, the price. We paid $2,300 more than we'd preferred.

When I started looking for vans to meet our selection criteria, it quickly became apparent that our price was not likely to be high enough to find what we were looking for. We prayed, sought counsel, and in the end decided to raise our price. Nevertheless, as I sat across from the salesperson, I had heartburn about what the right decision was. I was praying hard, asking that God make the right decision clear to me. I was unsure if God was telling me one thing or another, but I couldn't deny that I felt like it was a good (enough) decision. It really felt like God's reply to my entreaty was, "this is fine, it doesn't really matter." So, after talking it over with Erin, we made the purchase.

Now, as I think back to that moment of decision, I believe that God was telling me the choice was fine and didn't really matter because they all crash the same.

What if I'd bought this one? Or that one? For more money? For less money? With these features? With that mileage? It would have crashed the same. Then I'd have totaled a different flavor vehicle, and I'd still have to try to find another one.

I started looking. I found a van on Craigslist that looked nice. It seemed to meet all our criteria. I prayed about it, and I felt like it would be good to go and look at it (even though it was an hour away.) Erin agreed. When I arrived, I found a very nice van. A white van. This white van was a year newer, 2014, had 15,000 less miles than the black van, had stow and go seats, and all the other things we'd preferred in a vehicle, and it was about $2,400 less than we paid! In short, it was everything that we'd been looking for when we'd bought the black van. I told the seller that I wanted it, but, unfortunately, I couldn't buy it until we'd settled with the insurance company. Reasonably, he wouldn't hold it for me because he'd had other interested parties. I said, "well, if God wants us to have it, He'll make it happen."

I don't remember now just exactly how the conversation went, but my acknowledgement of God's sovereignty over the matter prompted him, Nick, to respond in agreement. That led us to keep talking, and we ended up talking about why I was in Florida and about YouthHOPE. It turns out that Nick is involved in youth ministry in a large Russian/Ukrainian church, and he was interested in learning if YouthHOPE could help them somehow! I don't know how we might be able to serve or partner with his church, but I'm sure curious what God might do through this relationship with Nick in the future! I prayed for him, which he appreciated warmly, and drove away.

Any of you who are savvy with Craigslist know that it's important to act fast when a good deal shows up because they usually dissappear quickly. We couldn't act quickly, so we waited and trusted God to guide us. We felt like God was working in this, and so we stopped looking and waited for the insurance question to resolve. About a week later, we were in a position to buy a van, so I called Nick. He still had it! Surprisingly, the other interested parties, for one reason or another, weren't able to buy the van! So we made a deal. We purchased the white van that better than matched all of our criteria, and made a friend, who I can't imagine why I would have possibly met otherwise, in the process!

Yes, I wish I didn't have to crash our van and deal with the consequences of it. BUT, I find sweet comfort in the fact that God is never on the defensive, never surprised, and never wrings His hands in anxiety. He knew that I'd crash the van we'd buy, He knew that He'd use that event to introduce me to Nick, and He knew that He'd show us where to find just the right van. So I'm praising God, and finding comfort in His loving power to guide our steps for His glory even when that means the sickening experience that they all crash the same.

You Get What You Pray For!

Incredible, unexpected, amazing, miraculous, crazy. That's what we were thinking as we heard their story about God selling their house. "They" were a couple preparing to go into full time career missions. They were telling their story in our Sunday school class, and talking about how they didn't know how they'd overcome the obstacle of selling their house. The liability of their house proved to be no obstacle to God, and He handled it in a way that caused them (and us) to worship Him. They said a lot of other things during their presentation, but Erin and I were both impacted the most by the story of God selling their house. Yet, years later when we were faced with a similar obstacle, neither of us expected that our story could be like theirs. We were wrong.

When God revealed to us that He wanted us to be vocational missionaries, one of my biggest fears was what we'd do about our house. You see, we'd bought it as a "fixer upper" and it wasn't yet completely "fixed." We'd made some huge improvements over the years, but we'd run out of money for the other big projects and we put them on the "back burner" on the "20 year" plan. So when God changed our career direction, we found ourselves with a house that wasn't close to "ready to sell." Honestly, I feared that we'd not even "break even" and we'd somehow have to bring additional money to the closing of a sale! But God had a different idea.

Last November, we invited a realtor to visit and discuss a strategy for selling. He suggested that we walk through the house and make notes in each room. Then, after walking through the entire house, we could decide where best to spend our effort to prepare for sale. The first few rooms merited little comment, then we came to the bathroom. He pointed out issues like tub stains, ugly tub surround, and damaged countertop that would not show well. Then we stepped into the stairway, with stairs that were rough wood, walls and railings that were just exposed studs, and incomplete electrical wiring. His optimism was visibly dampened. We continued upstairs, and discovered the unfinished area that was to eventually become 2 more bathrooms and a master bedroom, but with an unfinished floor structure, safety issues, and other significant concerns, his shoulders began to slump. When he saw the basement, he dropped his head and said, "Don't spend any money on this house." Eventually, we made it out to the garage, and his perspective brightened a bit (the garage is very attractive with a second floor office, heat, and plumbing that would show very well.) Nevertheless, his advice was good. We should not spend money unless and until a market analysis showed that we'd be able to reasonably expect to get it back with a sale.

As you can imagine, it was a discouraging experience. In response, we began to pray and work. It was exceedingly obvious that we'd never be able to do it on our own, and God humbled us and compelled us to ask for help. In the spring, we began to work on the house in earnest, and over the course of about 3 months God transformed our house into the best condition it's been in since we purchased it. We had about 6 Saturday workdays where many friends came over to help. A couple days we had as many as 15 throughout the day! Those helpers finished the floor structure and corrected issues in the unfinished upstairs, finished the stairway, painted rooms, decluttered and packed, added landscaping, and painted the entire exterior of the house (just to mention a few projects!) They were the arms of God's grace and power wrapped around us, and God did the impossible through them! When the realtor returned to take pictures and list the house, he was amazed. He said he never believed the house could look like this!

On the last work day that we had a big group of people over to help, our faith was stretched. I gathered everyone for a prayer time before we began (as I'd done each time) to ask that God multiply our efforts. When we finished, my dad got our attention and said he had one more thing to pray. We all closed our eyes and he prayed, "God I know you're going to sell this house within 7 days of listing!" I confess that if eyes could "bug out" while closed, mine did! You get what you pray for?

I asked him later, "When you prayed that, what were you thinking?" He said simply, "That's easy. God just kept telling me throughout the whole prayer time, 'You need to demonstrate your faith. You need to demonstrate your faith. You need to demonstrate your faith." So he obeyed.

We authorized the realator to list the house and it showed up on the MLS on Wednesday May 24th, but there were no photos. All of the photos showed up and the listing was complete on Friday, May 26th. The following Friday, June 2nd, we were sitting with the realtor and signing papers to accept an offer. Not only did God supply a buyer just like my dad had prayed, He also supplied an offer that couldn't have been better! The buyer had nothing to sell, they offered $100 more than we listed for, there were no contingencies that would be hard to overcome, we selected the closing date, and they were a christian couple with two young daughters who knew from the moment they walked in that "this was the house for them!"

When we decided to sell, Erin started to pray for the buyer. She hoped it would be a family who would really like the house, appreciate what we'd done, and make great family memories just like we have. Well, you get what you pray for. We met the couple that's buying the house, and they are exactly what we've been praying for! For example, their daughters are excited about our little door under the stairs, and the man plans to use my garage office while he works from home just like I did! 

Ok. I confess. I don't actually believe that it's always true that "you get what you pray for." But sometimes God does give us what we ask Him for, and sometimes He gives us more, far more, than we expect! Telling you this story drives me to worship. I hope hearing it causes you to worship Him with us, and celebrate that God (whether we're comfortable or uncomfortable) doesn't govern the details of our lives accidentally! 

PS. God continues to amaze us in other ways too. The buyers of our house are related to my coworker and good friends with our good friends! And God sold our van in 6 hours, without even listing it on Craigslist, by bringing a buyer from across the street before I'd even finished parking it on the street with the "for sale" sign in the window!   

Are we really doing this?!

In 2004 we moved into our home on Elm St. in Menasha, and our expectation was that we’d live there until we were old and gray. On June 2nd we accepted an offer on our house, and we agreed that we’d move out by July 21st. Are we really doing this?

One week later, last Friday, we applied to lease a townhome in Florida! We paid fees and a security deposit. Should we be accepted, the first month’s rent will be due in July. Are we really doing this?

We sat in a Florida church, during our last visit, wondering if this was the place God would have us worship Him with others. We were poignantly aware that we were unknown and unknowing (How does this church do ____? What do these people believe about ____? etc.) We’ve never started attending a church where we’ve been unknown and unknowing. Are we really doing this?

On June 30th my employment with Versatile Management will to come to an end. With that end comes the last construction related entry on my resume that has read almost exclusively construction and contracting for the last 24 years. That resume describes not only what I’ve done, but who I’ve been AND who I’ve wanted to be. Yes, God has changed the desires of our hearts to want to follow where He’s leading, but… Are we really doing this?

When a tree has grown for 10, and 13, and 15, and 18 years, how deep is it’s roots? When a tree has grown for 4 decades, how deep is it’s roots? When a family has been a part of a church body for 18 years, how deep are their roots? When a family has lived in the same area, within a 3 hour radius, for 4 decades, how deep are it’s roots? We’re doing non-takebackable things to pull up our roots to follow where God is leading. Are we really doing this?

These paragraphs are snapshots of what’s going on in our heads and hearts, as we face each new obstacle and watch God graciously overcome them. Are we really doing this? The answer is yes, we are really doing this. We’re doing it because we’re certain that God wants us to! We’re doing this because God has designed us to! We’re doing this because God has prepared us to! We’re doing this because we want to! Jesus’ words in Mark 8:34-35 are echoing in my head as I write, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.”

Nontakebackable

Have you ever heard the story of Gideon? In the Bible, Judges chapter 6, God chose Gideon to be one through whom He would accomplish amazing things. God's will for Gideon became so clear to him that he was compelled to take action in response. Some of those first actions were to tear down his father's alter to Baal, destroy his father's Asherah pole, and replace them with an alter to the Lord. The people of the town were outraged, and demanded that Gideon be put to death. Nontakebackable.

As a child in elementary school, I'd hear people say, "take it back." "It" was likely to have been an unkind word. The offended party would be the one calling for the retraction. Of course, unkind words are actually non-take-back-able. As such, the injured person was not actually looking for spoken words to be unspoken, but was calling the speaker to repentance for their mean-ness. Repentance was required since the mean-ness was actually nontakebackable.

We all make nontakebackable choices. Minor, severe, negative, positive, they're choices that cannot be unchosen no matter what we think or wish after we make them. I stood on the top of a 60' zipline tower with my son one day. The line itself was something like 1000' long and sagged down into a valley far below the base of the tower on which we were standing. I'd spent the trip to the tower, and the climb to the top counseling him about choices. As we stood at the edge of the tower, strapped to the zipline, with our toes dangling over the edge that was 60' above the ground, he recognized that stepping off the edge, for better or worse, was nontakebackable. If not for sound equipment, we truly could have died. Yet, instead, we hopped off the edge and raced down the line safely. Exhilarating! We went back to the top to do it again!

God has called Erin and I to leave our "country, our people, and our family" to go to Florida and serve as career missionaries. He has called us to, as Jesus says in Matthew 9:37-38, seek and raise up "harvesters" who will work in the ripe harvest field of global youth. We have been taking steps of obedience, and we are increasingly aware of the nontakebackable-ness of some of our choices. It's both sobering and exciting. 

This week, I expect to have a conversation with my employer about transitioning my Construction Manager responsibilities to the man who will replace me. The project I'm in charge of is drawing near to completion, and quickly. Full time employment in the secular marketplace, and it's commensurate income, will soon be a thing of the past. I have, in obedience to God, walked to the edge of a nontakebackable choice. I am preparing to step off the edge. We are trusting that God has built this "zipline" and that the ride will be safe and exhilarating even though it's a bit scary. Perhaps you're willing to pray with us that we, and you, would place all our hope and trust in Jesus, then in obedience boldy choose the nontakebackable and watch our amazing God do amazing things.

Confusing Candy

Over the Christmas holiday week, we took vacation, and our family began work on a 1000 piece puzzle depicting a scene of various kinds of Nestle candies. We made some significant progress during the week by connecting over 50% of the pieces. In order to enjoy things like puzzles, we intentionally set aside the responsibilities and weighty concerns of life while vacationing, but that couldn’t continue.

When vacation was finished, I quickly felt the overwhelming weight of life’s many challenges resting on my shoulders again. The question of ______ and all its complexities was right in my face, relentlessly pressing me for a response, and I didn’t know the answer. So I tried to find relief by looking in a different direction. When I turned my head, the challenge of ______ was inches from my nose, staring directly into my eyes, demanding that I decisively take a side, but again I didn’t know what the right answer was. I tried to find relief by looking in yet a different direction. This time I found a passive aggressive contestant. I found the questions of ______, which have so quietly but persistently dogged our every step for who knows how long. Finally, I turned and saw a new opponent. This young and fresh face boldly asked ______, and the case was undeniably compelling such that I knew I had to take action. Weighty, complex, urgent, important, undeniable, unavoidable questions all, and each resting squarely on my shoulders, what was I to do?

Upon returning from work at the end of a day grappling with these many questions, I came to stand beside our unfinished puzzle. I looked at the scrambled pieces and the gaps in the picture. There were still too many pieces missing to fit on the table for display, and the overflow rested in a chaotic pile in the puzzle box. I looked at the puzzle for a moment, having no idea where any of the loose pieces belonged. I decided to begin organizing the pieces neatly around the perimeter. I find comfort in order. It’s easier for me to understand the puzzle problem when the loose pieces are arranged in orderly way. As I sorted, God reminded me that He’s not the same as me.

I realized in that moment, that Jesus is not even remotely challenged by any puzzle. He could sit down with my 1000 piece puzzle, take a piece out of the box, and place it on the table exactly where it belongs. He could then pick up another, and another, and another placing each one exactly where they belong. He could assemble the entire puzzle that way, and never have to move a single piece twice, not even for the slightest adjustment. I love that.

We did end up finishing the puzzle. The confusion of the Nestle candies disappeared, into one complete and satisfying picture. In a similar way, God continues to work in our hearts and lives, reminding us daily of His ability when we recognize our inability to answer the questions of life. He has proved faithful to carry us this far, and we smile with confidence that He will continue to be faithful to solve the puzzle of life we are so confused by. There have been many examples already, where He has done just that in part. Therefore, we are confident that one day, we will look back and see the complete and satisfying picture that He knew all along.

Grandma The Power Lifter (Lead From The Back)

Fresh out of high school and green as could be, I learned that his grandma could lift more than me!

I began my career as a carpenter in 1993. Needless to say, "experienced" was not an adjective that could honestly be attached to my name. So just like everyone else in that circumstance, I had to earn that adjective by... experience. I'm glad that I can now be described as "experienced" in many ways. In that accomplishment I've learned this: a problem with experience is... well, one has to have it, to have it. I believe it was 1994 when I met the power lifting grandmother and gained some valuable experience.

It was another sunny day on the construction site, and we were framing a new house. I was, as usual, inspiring everyone on the site with my unbelievable work ethic and productivity from one so young. My associate requested that I perform the important task of transferring some linear "2 by" material into a crucial location. I set about the task, carrying as much as any man on the site could. I was impressing all, and as one co-worker was observing my impressive ability, he began to talk about how he couldn't lift that much but his grandma could!

Actually, it was nothing like that. My foreman simply told me to move some boards from point "A" to point "B" and I did it. When the foreman saw me "doing" it, he noticed that I was only lifting 2 or 3 boards at a time. He came over and picked up twice as much as I had (or more) and remarked, "My grandma can lift more than that!" I was humiliated. At that moment, I decided I would never be accused of that again. That day I gained a little "experience,” and I felt the truth that the tough part of experience is: I had to have it to have it. This wouldn't be the last experience I gained early in my construction career. 

Andy Olson also taught me some valuable lessons about working with others. The two of us sided many houses, and did many remodeling projects together. He was typically the guy on the scaffold installing, while I was the cutter or “gopher.” He insisted that it was my job to keep him busy, and that he should never be standing and waiting on me. I took it to heart, and worked hard trying to make sure that I was always ready and he was never waiting. As I practiced, I realized this important truth. I, as the cutter, had a significant ability to lead by pushing the installer. If he always had what he needed, it forced him to try to come up with something else for me to get for him, and that meant he had to work harder. That was good. Since then, that model has become my way. God definitely used that experience to shape me into the man I am today. 

You may wonder what that has to do with YouthHOPE. Just this, God is at work in YouthHOPE to lead from behind. You see, we want youth all over the world to come face to face with the good news of Jesus, but we have a very limited reach. On the other hand, God is always at work in the hearts of people all over the world to spread the good news, and together their reach is unlimited. As God raises people up to be the face of Christ to those in their spheres of influence, YouthHOPE works hard to build relationships and “push” those people to be as effective as they can be to advance the kingdom. I’m not interested in being famous, but I am interested in expanding the fame of Jesus by encouraging and discipling people to live for Jesus, love Jesus, and build His kingdom. That’s what I care about. That’s leading from behind. That’s who God has made me to be. That’s YouthHOPE.