Why "goribble"?

Jesus says, "Go."

Perhaps you know the well known missionary banner of Matthew 28:19-20, where Jesus commands his disciples to "go." It's commonly called, "the great commission." What do you think about it? For some, energy and passion for evangelism get "a shot in the arm" simply by hearing the words "great commission." I fear it's to my shame that's never been true of me, not even close. I have heard that passage hundreds of times over my lifetime, and I have most often received it with some form of eye rolling. Yes, that has not been a passage that I've wanted to rally behind, or even think too much about. Evangelism. It's extremely important... for someone else. In place of passion for evangelism, my empathy has much more readily supported the singer of the classic christian song, "Please don't send me to Africa." Evangelism is intimidating, scary, and not my gift. Again, to my shame, these kinds of thoughts, articulated or not, have characterized most of my life.

But, Jesus says, "Go."

God has been at work in our hearts for several years now. We've been teaching the 5th grade boys Sunday school class for the past 6 years. Though we haven't always recognized it in the moment, God has been using that effort to change our thinking about the "great commission." Through 5th grade Sunday school, He has been continually revealing and clarifying two profound truths to me.

• Jesus is extremely good news, but that has not been true for me for much of my Christian life. 
• The "great commission" is for all believers, and "evangelism" is only a small part of it. 

Occasionally, we are approached by financial advisors who want to tell us the "good news" about the many and varied ways they can help us guarantee a better financial future for ourselves. Without fail, their message causes stress for me. They tell me what we should do with our money, and how amazing the future can be as a result, etc. Again, without fail, there's one huge problem that they seem to miss. To fund any of their amazing future plans requires taking money away from other things that are already underfunded. To fund a "savings for the future" plan requires action out of a sense of duty to responsibility. It's a sacrifice. It means years of discomfort with the hope of comfort in the future. That's similar to how the "good news" of Jesus has felt to me for much of my Christian life. As a result, you can easily see how I might be reluctant to become like the "financial advisor" telling others about Christ. 

I was wrong. While considering the 5th graders, youths who've grown up in the church, who've heard all the stories, and know all the answers, I've begun asking some life changing questions. I want those boys to love Jesus, but "what's in it for them?" jumps out and slaps me in the face. Why is Jesus good news? What's in it for me? I know some may consider that question inappropriate, even sinful. I believe that's been true of me in the past. But what does God say? I find it increasingly important to notice that God answers that question again and again, from cover to cover, in the pages of the Bible. It takes only an elementary effort of Bible study to find verses that tell of the good God has for His creatures if we do things his way. God does not chastise the asker of the question, "what's in it for me." No, he answers the question over and over and over again. The problem is not the asking of the question, the problem is that I don't agree that God's answers are good answers.

God is no "financial advisor." Jesus isn't asking that we scrape up all the righteousness we have as a payment for a better future. He isn't pressing us to fulfill a duty of responsibility, and sacrifice for hope of a better future. He's asking us to recognize that we can not possibly in any way on our own pay for the future (and present) hope He has for us, ever. He's asking us to receive, with open hands, his favor unmerited, His gift of infinite value that will benefit us profoundly and powerfully from this moment through eternity. He's telling us about extremely good news, and yes, it's extremely expensive, but He paid for it in full! The more God enables me to recognize how true these things are, the better the news becomes to me, and the more I want to tell others about it.

And Jesus says, "Go."

The great commission is not about "evangelism" exclusively. In fact, "evangelism" isn't even included in the text of Matthew 28:19-20. The verse actually says, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." (NIV) So these are the actual imperatives: go, make disciples, baptize, and teach. Now, "evangelism" is a way to obey these commands, but it is far from the only way. Or, think of it this way: evangelism is making disciples, but making disciples is not necessarily evangelism; evangelism is "going", but "going" is not necessarily evangelism; evangelism is teaching, but teaching is not necessarily evangelism.

This is the direction my thoughts about the "great commission" have been moving:

• I am a disciple (follower) of Jesus Christ. Therefore, I must go, AND I love Jesus and His message so I WANT to go.
• Go. Where? Zambia? Yes. Florida? Yes. Wisconsin? Yes. Calvary Bible Church in Neenah? Yes. To the kitchen? Yes. To the couch? Yes. Think of a place, are there people there? Yes. Therefore, this command is for all Christians all the time. The "going" doesn't necessitate being where you're not, but obeying where you are. 
• Make disciples, baptize, and teach. 
• For 17 years, Erin and I have been intentionally pouring our lives into 4 people who are extremely important to us, who live in our house and wear our last name. That's obedience to Jesus' command in Matthew 28:19-20. 
• For years, we've been teaching 5th grade Sunday school. That's obedience to Jesus' command in Matthew 28:19-20. 
• For years, we've been marriage mentors. That's obedience to Jesus' command in Matthew 28:19-20. 

My point is; God is not calling us to be evangelists, he's calling us to make disciples. It will be true that sometimes that disciple making will include teaching someone who's never heard about Jesus, but that will only be one part of a larger whole. We have been "going" for Jesus (by His grace.) We want to keep "going" to spread the good news of Jesus. 

So, why "goribble?"

Jesus says, "Go." Our heart and prayer is; may we stay-go or go-go, but never no-go.

Reflections: Urbana 2015 - You tell me...

(Originally posted 1/3/16 on our 5th grade boys Sunday school blog)

"What is God calling you to do?" I repeated the question, that was boldly emblazoned on the NMSI booth backdrop sign, with a finger in Kyle's chest, adding a "You tell me. What IS God calling us to do?" So the conversation began.

Erin and I have been asking that question in a variety of ways for at least the last 5 years. We asked it in the summer/fall of 2010 while self employed when we wondered, "If this is the 'fat' time of the year and money is so tight, what will we do in the winter?" We asked it repeatedly, after closing my business, from 2010 through 2013 when I felt oppressed and trapped in my job at my brother's roofing company. (It was the job/work, not my brother, he was great employer.) We asked it during the trauma of 2013 when my brother was forced to sell his business, and I became unemployed. We asked it as I tried to start a new business with roofing software, and restarted my contracting business to pay the bills while my career continued to flounder with uncertainty. We asked it while our family of 6 was on a church mission trip to the Village of Hope in Zambia in 2013. After we returned from Zambia with no clarity, we asked one of the pastors of our church (my dad) for the answer. He didn't know but suggested, "maybe you should go to Urbana." We asked it in 2014 when I decided that I was interested in exploring a career as a business analyst. We continued to ask it even when God gave me a good job as the construction manager of a multi-million dollar luxury apartment development instead of moving me out of the construction trade (into business analysis or something) like I'd been angling for. We've been asking it ever since we decided to attend Urbana, while we've watched God provide financially for us to go to Urbana, for the entire trip to Urbana, and constantly while we attended. We asked it while walking each aisle and passing each booth of the first 70% of the exhibit hall. We asked it after the 2 afternoon seminars we wanted to attend were too full for us to enter, and as we sat discouraged for the next hour not knowing where to go or what to do. We asked it as we decided half heartedly to walk the rest of the exhibit hall. We asked it before we entered the exhibit hall the second time with a "lame" prayer and shrugged shoulders, "God, please guide us to someone or somewhere..."  So asking the question with my finger in Kyle's chest was not a new question, just a new chest. He didn't know.

I didn't take chemistry class in high school, but even I could tell we had good chemistry with Kyle in the New Mission Systems International booth right from the start. He did the same thing most people in the Center were doing, he asked questions, told his story, tried to draw out our story, and introduced us to others in his booth. Our conversation ranged, including my construction experience and our 5th grade Sunday School efforts. I was quick to point out that construction may be my skill, but was no longer my passion. He introduced us to others in their booth, and to Youth Hope. Youth Hope is an effort that has to do with developing youth leaders/young leaders both state-side and overseas (an extremely rudimentary understanding.) I was surprised to have a spark of interest. They attempt to accomplish these goals with short term trips to train leaders both nationally and internationally. They develop their own curriculum. Later, I remembered that I'd been interested when a couple of the other CBC leaders had mentioned in passing they'd been talking about (what seemed to me) a similar idea when considering the vision of our church. We also found it to be interesting that there was some similarity of passion between their focus and our efforts in the 5th grade Sunday school. We walked away not knowing what to think, but encouraged that maybe God would reveal some direction after all. At least we would have one booth to consider that would no longer fit into the "aimless wandering" category.

We are confident that God is able to make a path for us that we could be excited and passionate about, but we are also acutely aware that He is not obligated. I'm always uncomfortable when someone seems to believe that we can measure our alignment with God's will by our own comfort. On the other hand, I firmly believe that God has designed and created us intentionally for purposes that are exclusive to us and match who He's made us to be (Eph. 2:10.) I don't know how you respond to the tension of those realities, but my tendency is to pull away from sparks of excitement for fear of disappointment. "So..." we thought, "what should we do?"

We decided to walk the rest of the exhibit floor. Since we had ended with Kyle the previous day, we decided to begin with that aisle and continue our systematic path through the hall. As we walked by his booth, Kyle called out to us from the other side of the aisle where he was sitting at in a small lounge area. We had another good conversation, and we discovered that he and his team had had some conversation about us the previous night. Whatever they said (Erin and I both wished we could have been flies on their walls to listen,) clearly they had a spark of interest in us too. That was encouraging. We left Kyle and walked through the rest of the displays.

We had a handful of conversations while perusing the remaining booths, and learned a few things. We clearly realized that we didn't feel God drawing us to full time overseas missions. We learned that the business analysis field is a bad idea, as one booth's representative somewhat condescendingly counseled us to steer clear of it. We left that booth shaking our heads, wondering what possessed him to be so... negative and discouraging. He also (intentionally or not) made it clear that their organization (or at least he) had no interest in us. If I believed "closed doors" are an indicator of God's will, then the "no" couldn't have been clearer. The last conversation we had was good, but felt heavy with practicality (more like a vetting than exploratory conversation) and it left us feeling well... heavy. So we learned that we're not quite ready to "dive in." Ultimately, we learned that the only booth we had authentic interest in was NMSI.

As the week continued, we kept feeling an attraction to NMSI and Youth Hope. We still didn't really have a good understanding of what Youth Hope did, and Kyle kept suggesting that we should talk to some others about it since he is involved in a different NMSI ministry. We decided that we'd go back and see if we could sit down with some of them and learn more. We arrived back at the booth after a somewhat hesitant and meandering walk (we both felt uncertainty as to what we'd say or how we'd be received.) The booth was busy. We awkwardly wandered to some tables at the end of the booth to wait for an opportunity to strike up a conversation. Moments later we were greeted by a friendly woman named Karena. I suppose some may call it coincidence that Karena's husband, Justin, had been the Director of Outreach for Youth Hope for 3 years before moving to a different NSMI ministry, but I know it's God getting what he wants. Moments later we were in another conversation with the NMSI team including Justin. We told them that we had interest in sitting down with them to learn more about them. Justin and Karena immediately volunteered, and we made arrangements to meet them for supper.

As supper approached, we asked ourselves what we were hoping to accomplish. We decided that we had 2 objectives: we wanted to explore what working with Youth Hope looked like practically, and we wanted to interact with them about our efforts in 5th grade Sunday School to see if they saw any connections or potential for synergy. Several hours later we found ourselves sitting at a restaurant and enjoying comfortable small talk. Again, good chemistry was clear. We learned... well honestly I'm still struggling to understand what they do, but I believe this at least. They love Jesus and young (12 - 30) disciples of Jesus. They want to do whatever can be done to build young people into leaders that can multiply the discipleship of young Jesus followers anywhere and everywhere globally. I like that thinking.

Eventually, Justin made a comment that turned the conversation in the other direction we had wanted to go, 5th grade Sunday School. I explained why we wanted to teach in 5th grade, referencing the first post in this blog. I was encouraged when he appreciated what I had written. We talked about things like "volume", the Rubik's cube, and the indispensable parts of the gospel. Justin made a few comments that piqued our curiosity. He asked about the source of the comments I was making, and when I told him they were my own he seemed interested. He said that he'd never heard anyone express those truths that way before. He mentioned that he could imagine me speaking to a group of people, and had some small audiences in mind. I was reminded of the seminar that Erin and I sat in ("God Behaving Badly" that was talking about some difficult Biblical texts) where I leaned over and said that I could imagine myself as the speaker. I remembered sitting there and realizing that I didn't have an audience. So it was intriguing to hear Justin observe that he found value in my thoughts, could imagine me delivering them to someone, and had audiences in need of speakers. As we walked back to the conference center, I confided to Justin that Crystal had been encouraged by my 5th grade class and had been similarly encouraging me to record and refine my teaching into a curriculum. It was a pleasant time, and we couldn't deny our welling enthusiasm. Our enthusiasm continues, but I, for one, am still trying to hold it back and temper it with reality.

Thursday December 31st was the final day. The thought of spending New Year's Eve alone in a hotel away from our kids was not welcome, and we decided to leave after the 11 am session. We waited until the exhibit hall opened and visited the booth one last time to say goodbye to our new friends.

What now? I don't know what to think. I have a good job that fits me well, yet I'll admit that I have some interest in abandoning my career in hopes of finding a career I can be passionate about. I can imagine being excited and passionate about what NMSI and Youth Hope are doing. On the other hand, I wonder if it's God leading me or if I'm just another Christian comfort worshipper who spends more time worrying about not having what I want than wanting what I have.

It's been said that one of the ways the seeker of God's will may find answers is in the counsel of wise Christians. So wise Christian friends, you tell me. What's God calling us to do?

Missing Zambia...

I find myself missing Zambia today.  I'm rarely sure what brings on the different emotions I experience lately.  I'm learning about myself that I've come back from Zambia a much more emotional person.  Sometimes I smile when I think of our trip to VOH.  Sometimes I find myself wondering what the kids are doing at the moment I'm thinking of them.  Sometimes I wonder if they remember us...

Today, I decided to take a few minutes and let myself just remember my time there.  I've decided to share with you some of my thoughts from my journal the day after we returned from Zambia:

I woke at 3:30am thinking of Africa.  I can't go back to sleep so decided to write in my journal.  I'll plan to take a short nap today and probably go to bed early - hopefully that will be the end of the jet lag...

I am thankful.  My experience in Zambia has changed me.  I am thankful that I don't have to worry about our tap water making me sick.  While in Zambia, we learned to be thankful for bottled water.  It's nice here in America to not have to keep track of my water bottle, and if we'll have enough water at night to drink while we are at our house.  I'm thankful we don't have huge wall spiders that I have to look out for... or lizards.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to drive yesterday to the grocery store.  Most people walk in Africa, or have to take a crowded bus to a "market".  I say market loosely because of course it is probably a shack with a table of tomatoes, banana's, wood, etc.  I'm thankful that all of our laundry I brought home can be thrown into a washing machine.  And then if I choose to hang my laundry on the line I can do that or I can simply put my clothes in the dryer.  I'm thankful for green grass.  Everywhere in Zambia is dry and dusty in August.  The temperature was beautiful there!  It is hot and humid here 90+ degrees.  But I am thankful for our air conditioning that we can choose to use to be more comfortable.  It is not even an option in Zambia during their hot, rainy season.  I'm sure they would think we were rich if they felt our house...  I don't know what they would think of central air.

What are you thankful for?  I've been encouraging my kids lately to be thankful for the blessings God has given us.  They've been having to wake up early everyday for the past 2 1/2 weeks and it is hard for them.  But I want them to find joy in the life we are choosing to live.  We chose to participate in football, cross country and band.  We are blessed to have a good school to go to.  We are blessed with minds that soak in information and teachers who are willing to spend their days teaching.  I am thankful for a husband who provides for our family financially so I can be at home caring for our children and home.  The list could go on.

I loved Zambia and the people there.  They taught me much about life...

You're invited!

Hi everyone,

You are all invited to Calvary Bible Church in Neenah on Sunday September 8th at 6pm to hear our team tell about our Zambia experience.  We are so thankful for the way God worked through you to make it possible for us to visit VOH last month, and we would love it if you'd plan to attend our presentation.

Calvary Bible Church is located on Oakridge Rd. in Neenah.  Take the Main St. exit off Hwy 41 and the church is on the south west corner of the intersection of Hwy 41 and Main St. (Main St. becomes Oakridge Rd. on the west side of Hwy 41.)

The church driveway is the first turn to the south after exiting the Hwy.  Follow the driveway take the first right turn to go to the back of the church.  We expect to be presenting in the music room.

We hope to see you there!

scott

Family picture...

Family picture while on a safari.

my first thoughts upon returning (after 12 hours of sleep:))

So here I sit, back in my chair typing on my computer after having been away for two weeks to Zambia.  I do not have any work scheduled today because I expected to need the time to get my "head back on straight."  I'm glad I don't have plans other than that.  Al has to leave in a few minutes for cross-country trials, I hope that goes well for her.  She hasn't been training for the last two weeks.  God, please be gracious to Al and help her to have a good attitude this morning.  Please also help her to do well despite the lack of training while in Zambia.  Ab has football practice this afternoon with his team who's been practicing for two weeks.  God, please be gracious to Ab by helping him to have a good attitude and do well despite his not practicing with his team for two weeks, and please help him to fit into the team well.  Erin seems to be well on her way to being adjusted to home life again.  It will be interesting to participate in conversation with Erin as we let this Zambia experience percolate in our hearts.  The two most prominent questions in my mind and heart as we've come back are these.

1. Who has God designed us to be/become?  
2. What has God designed us for doing?  

These questions come with a strong undercurrent of belief that I (and most here in the) States spend our lives with our eyes firmly fixed on ourselves and our own circumstances.  If we look to others, we often compare ourselves and circumstances to theirs in this fashion:

1. When someone has more than me, I despise God's grace in giving me what I have because I don't have everything I want.
2. When someone has less than me, I puff out my chest for my skillful living and choosing (not God's grace) has secured my life for me.

Proverbs 30:8b-9 rings true:

"give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the Lord?'
Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God."
7 


I believe that God has created us with purpose.  I wonder if i've been missing out on being amazed by God because I spend so much time focused on myself.  Again I wonder... Who has God designed us to be/become? What has God designed us to do?

scott

We are home...

We returned home today at 3:30ish pm.  We are so thankful that all of our flights went well and God showed our team much grace as we spent two weeks at the Village of Hope.

I truly do not know what to write tonight, but wanted to let you know that we continue to be so grateful for the opportunity God gave our family.  We are continuing to process (and probably will take a lot of time these next few weeks) to see what God is teaching us through this trip.  I am so tired tonight.  We spent 36 hours traveling and I did not get much sleep.  This is true for most of our team.

I thought I would take a couple of minutes to post a prayer request from this past Thursday.  I thought I might be able to have access to the internet, but it wasn't meant to be.  The post still rings true for me though.  I know that our team left a piece of each of our hearts at the VOH.  I do not know how the kids feel about us leaving, but it was very difficult for us to leave...

Written on 8/22/2013
We have had limited access to the internet.  Right now I am typing a note that I hope to post later today.  Thankfully God is timeless and whenever you see this prayer request God is faithful to answer.  I would like to ask for prayer as our team prepares to say good bye.  We have been asked to not be emotional as we say our good byes.  The kids here have experienced so much pain in their lives they don't need to experience it once again because of us leaving.  So, our goal is to say good bye in a positive fashion, like how we might say good bye to a friend that we plan to see again soon.  This is a difficult idea for me because of course there is no guarantee we will be able to come back soon... maybe not ever.  But we do want to honor the request and I do understand the request.

We have all developed relationships here that have touched our hearts, with the children, Mama's, Aunties and workers.  It is going to be hard to leave, so if you could pray for the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and faces so we can smile and love on the children as we say good bye on Friday we would greatly appreciate it.

Today:  Saying good bye was very difficult for me.  I made many connections with the kids, but especially with the children in House 6.  We had the opportunity to visit with the kids each night after dinner in their homes.  We each picked a house and then continued to visit with the same kids the whole 2 weeks.  So when it came time to say "See you later"... I know I had a couple of tears in my eyes.  I hope the kids know that it wasn't necessarily a sadness, but more of a thankfulness that God allowed us to be together...  If you would continue to pray for the children as they adjust to a more structured schedule this week while they finish up their "holiday" from school, I know they would appreciate it.

Blessings ~ Erin