They all crash the same.

It took only 1 week after we arrived in Florida (and less than 3 weeks after we purchased it) for me to "remodel" the front of our "new" van. Praise God that Abishai, me, and the other driver were not injured. Even so, the experience was sickening.

The van was likely to be totaled, and our other vehicle's 5 seats didn't accommodate the 6 of us conveniently. So we found ourselves feeling pressure to shop for a van... again. I say, "again" with a sigh and a grimace. I don't like shopping for vehicles, at least when I feel like they are so expensive as was true in this case. Nevertheless, I was back in the same place I was 3 weeks earlier agonizing over what it meant to be a good steward and choose wisely.

The black van, now irreparably "remodeled," had satisfied most of the criteria we'd used to choose a vehicle. It was a Grand Caravan or Chrysler Town and Country, 2013 or newer, had low miles (45,000), stow and go seating, and some other creature comforts. It fell short in one category though, the price. We paid $2,300 more than we'd preferred.

When I started looking for vans to meet our selection criteria, it quickly became apparent that our price was not likely to be high enough to find what we were looking for. We prayed, sought counsel, and in the end decided to raise our price. Nevertheless, as I sat across from the salesperson, I had heartburn about what the right decision was. I was praying hard, asking that God make the right decision clear to me. I was unsure if God was telling me one thing or another, but I couldn't deny that I felt like it was a good (enough) decision. It really felt like God's reply to my entreaty was, "this is fine, it doesn't really matter." So, after talking it over with Erin, we made the purchase.

Now, as I think back to that moment of decision, I believe that God was telling me the choice was fine and didn't really matter because they all crash the same.

What if I'd bought this one? Or that one? For more money? For less money? With these features? With that mileage? It would have crashed the same. Then I'd have totaled a different flavor vehicle, and I'd still have to try to find another one.

I started looking. I found a van on Craigslist that looked nice. It seemed to meet all our criteria. I prayed about it, and I felt like it would be good to go and look at it (even though it was an hour away.) Erin agreed. When I arrived, I found a very nice van. A white van. This white van was a year newer, 2014, had 15,000 less miles than the black van, had stow and go seats, and all the other things we'd preferred in a vehicle, and it was about $2,400 less than we paid! In short, it was everything that we'd been looking for when we'd bought the black van. I told the seller that I wanted it, but, unfortunately, I couldn't buy it until we'd settled with the insurance company. Reasonably, he wouldn't hold it for me because he'd had other interested parties. I said, "well, if God wants us to have it, He'll make it happen."

I don't remember now just exactly how the conversation went, but my acknowledgement of God's sovereignty over the matter prompted him, Nick, to respond in agreement. That led us to keep talking, and we ended up talking about why I was in Florida and about YouthHOPE. It turns out that Nick is involved in youth ministry in a large Russian/Ukrainian church, and he was interested in learning if YouthHOPE could help them somehow! I don't know how we might be able to serve or partner with his church, but I'm sure curious what God might do through this relationship with Nick in the future! I prayed for him, which he appreciated warmly, and drove away.

Any of you who are savvy with Craigslist know that it's important to act fast when a good deal shows up because they usually dissappear quickly. We couldn't act quickly, so we waited and trusted God to guide us. We felt like God was working in this, and so we stopped looking and waited for the insurance question to resolve. About a week later, we were in a position to buy a van, so I called Nick. He still had it! Surprisingly, the other interested parties, for one reason or another, weren't able to buy the van! So we made a deal. We purchased the white van that better than matched all of our criteria, and made a friend, who I can't imagine why I would have possibly met otherwise, in the process!

Yes, I wish I didn't have to crash our van and deal with the consequences of it. BUT, I find sweet comfort in the fact that God is never on the defensive, never surprised, and never wrings His hands in anxiety. He knew that I'd crash the van we'd buy, He knew that He'd use that event to introduce me to Nick, and He knew that He'd show us where to find just the right van. So I'm praising God, and finding comfort in His loving power to guide our steps for His glory even when that means the sickening experience that they all crash the same.